I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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