I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
