Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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