can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
