if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
