Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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