ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The power of my boobs compel you
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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