You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
