She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
