you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
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I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
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I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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