What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
