i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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