I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize