so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Who died my cat blue again?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
