im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
