So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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