how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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