She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
