THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I believe in your delicious
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
