i just had sex bonerless
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
