Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I haven't been this sober since birth.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
