he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Are we still banned from the library?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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