This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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