You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
