rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
