dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
