she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The power of my boobs compel you
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
