I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
