can u get pink eye on your cock?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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