anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
