dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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