I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
