he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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