she was so not down for the gang bang
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
