brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
