Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
