Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just high enough for therapy.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
