Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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