I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
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It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
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There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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