I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
