At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
