Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
