But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
