5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
