Having a random hookup so left but love u
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
