So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize