Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
