at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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