Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
