My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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