TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
