He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
