let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
