I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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