did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
