He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
