I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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