Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
