Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
