Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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