Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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