on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
