I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
